Whether blood is thicker than water or not, my peace of mind precedes all. Now we've gotten that out the way, let me explain why sometimes it's better to let go when you need to heal or grow.
I no longer speak to someone who is supposed to be a significant part of my life, and I haven't for almost three years. This person was full of ego and very little of anything else. Whenever I spoke up, my words were reduced to "disrespect". The gaslighting was out of this world. With the type of relationship we were supposed to have, I was constantly the only one trying. I wanted it to work badly because I needed that person to be there for me. I always forgave everything hoping that things would change. It was worse because this person could identify issues in others and judge openly but couldn't fathom the idea that they could be the problem. It was hurtful, but one of the best decisions I ever made. I refuse to keep people in my life just for the sake of it.
Sometimes, setting boundaries makes you feel mean, or like you're being harsh because it's not what you're used to. However, letting people get away with everything is you being mean to yourself. Are they any better than you? If they don't care about your feelings, their feelings are none of your business. Contrary to most people's beliefs, no one's needs should ever be more important to you than yours. This slightly differs when they're vulnerable or dependent on you; even then, your needs should never be neglected. You can't pour out of an empty cup.
Selflessness is not all it's made out to be; most of the time, it's people-pleasing. Concerning yourself with the needs of others is noble, but it should never be prioritised over yourself. Always check in with yourself to ensure you're good before overextending yourself for others; it is not "selfish". You will only end up resentful when they don't do the same, which they don't have to. Hard pill to swallow, I know.
Not one person is entitled to a relationship with me. No "tie", or bond is significant enough for me to keep a person around whose only impact is the deterioration of my mental health. You have to set boundaries; if those are not respected, you reduce access. So many of us would feel much lighter if we did the necessary pruning. Anyone that believes they're above being accountable, being wrong for that matter, has no place in my life. That mindset automatically costs ME for being around them. For growth to occur, one must be willing to learn. To learn, one must be willing to correct oneself. You can exit my space if your ego doesn't allow you to be accountable.
Lastly, an apology with no changed behaviour is AIR. If things continue as normal, you're allowing the person to set you back. Your lack of boundaries will continuously cost you; people will always push to see what they can get away with. Sometimes, they don't care about how you feel; they only care about how you make them feel. They have no intentions of doing better.
I don't know about you, but I have no capacity for one-sided relationships. If you care about yourself, you shouldn't, either. Their blindness to your feelings is all the confirmation you need. Remember, an apology without a change in behaviour is meaningless. If boundaries are not respected, reduce access.
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