We all have periods in our lives where things don’t go the way we had hoped or expected them to go. Some of these are easy to let go of, others sting us every now and again with what-ifs and why-nots.
Sometimes, I feel sorry for myself with how certain things have turned out in my life, and just can’t help but wonder what if things had gone the other way, and why they didn’t. I'm not a cry baby whining because one thing didn't go my way, I'm someone who truly can't help but question why, because if you really knew my story, you would probably wonder why too. There are things that I honestly thought were a given, I mean, how could they not happen?
You see people with the outcome you had hoped for and wonder why you couldn’t have that too; why things are attained much easily by other people but you, on the other hand, must struggle for everything you get. An easy example for me is finishing university; there was never a time I imagined that I would have to defer for reasons beyond my control. Every year, I see people joyfully celebrate their graduations, every single year, and I wonder why I couldn't have had a simpler life or more manageable circumstances: not an easy life but something I could have coped with better.
There are years that ask questions and years that answer. – Zora Neale Hurston
I don’t have any fancy quote explaining why things happen to certain people but not to others. To me, there’s no one reason that can actually justify it. Thinking there’s one theory to why someone, other than you, was selected could quicken the process of losing your mind and losing faith. With the continuous questioning of “why”, you may start to think you’re unlucky and the odds are highly stacked against you. You may start to feel like you have been let down by God, the universe, whatever or whoever you believe in.
I have found that it’s easier to feel sorry for yourself, but it is better to pick up any lessons from any given situation. Even when it seems there’s no feasible reason why things didn’t work out the way you’d hoped, the one thing you can take from it is that there is possibly something you didn’t know you needed that is coming your way. Like a puzzle, life can seem so complicated when we focus on overly difficult things. When we focus on more attainable things, we notice more, and one unexpected piece can bring everything else together.
One doesn't discover new lands without consenting to lose sight of the shore for a very long time. – Andre Gide
We will truly never know why things don’t happen the way we want, or what things would be like if they did. What we do know is that eventually, things will work out. It may not be how you plan it out, but one day, if you’re able to stop focusing on the why-nots in a negative manner, you will find purpose and joy in the position you end up in.
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