Daily, we battle the stigma against mental health, either within ourselves or with others. I often find myself thinking, “Are you overreacting?”, “Can’t you just get up and get over it?”, “Why aren’t you this?”, “Why aren’t you that?”. The answer is usually no because it’s not always that simple. For years I’ve felt I needed to keep it quiet and get on with life, but getting on with life became quite impossible because I kept quiet about it.
My mental health has literally affected everything, from my relationships, work-life, education to my social life. It has also affected my attention span, my memory and I have a constant headache, amongst other things. This is why I’m fully committed to improving my mental health. Not just for me, but also for those who will have to interact with me.
It may or may not be obvious but I suffer from depression. Here are some symptoms of depression as per the NHS website:
- Lost interest in doing things they usually enjoy
- Feeling hopeless and low
- Slower speech and movements or fidgety and restless than usual
- Usually tired and low in energy
- Excessively eating or barely eating
- Sleeping more than usual or unable to sleep
- Trouble concentrating on everyday things
Check, check, check, check, check, check and check. Oh, and let’s not even get started on what anxiety does to me. I was clinically diagnosed some years back and I’m still dealing with it today.
Myself aside, I have witnessed someone dear to me deteriorate mentally, and it has cost the individual, as well as the people around the individual a lot. Though I’m not entirely sure of everything said person has experienced, I’m very sure that this practice of putting up a strong front after certain situations (because of outward perception or fear of being shamed) has a big part to play in their current mental state. Each year this individual is in denial, it becomes more evident that there’s a problem. They continuously make irrational decisions that negatively affect the people around them and the relationships they have. After some time, people weigh their options and distance themselves either partially or totally. Imagine losing yourself AND everyone around you.
A lot of people are hypocrites when it comes to mental health. They are sympathetic with people they read about but dismissive to people who go through it around them. It’s not always easy to understand someone with poor mental health, but a little effort goes a long way. Personally, I try to think before speaking and I’m able to pick up on certain behaviours, which helps me with my approach in particular situations. It upsets me when people belittle how serious it is because not one person is exempt from possibly being affected. Most people are affected now, but instead of accepting it they brush it to the side and try to move on as normal. Acceptance doesn’t mean you will be there forever; it means you can figure out what the problem is and how to solve it so you can reach your optimum. I yearn to see the day when mental health conversations are not taboo and this is why I choose to break the cycle, regardless of what anyone around me thinks.
In African homes especially, we seem to be more worried about how things look than the effects they have on the individual; focusing on making it look like there’s no problem instead of focusing on how to solve the problem. Why are we so ashamed? Having poor physical health shouldn’t be shameful so why should poor mental health be? I often see people question what people that seem to have it all are depressed about. As if material things can solve every problem an individual has. It may solve most, but financial hardship is not the only thing that can negatively affect someone’s mental state. Wealthy or seemingly content people commit suicide every day. Things that may seem ‘minor’ to you have detrimental effects on other people.
“Tuning in to yourself is the first step to tuning out of a bad mental space.” It’s such a ‘duh’ statement when you think about it but it’s so easy to miss. Being in tune with how we feel and not neglecting it can really help us manage our emotions and thoughts as they come. It’s definitely not an easy thing to do but it’s very necessary. We are made up of mind, body, and soul and I often question who demoted the mind to the least important of the three. Your mind is your powerhouse, and if that isn’t functioning properly how can you be at your best? When you’re in a good place mentally, there’s little you can’t accomplish.
I can’t speak for anyone but myself, and this has been based mostly on my experience with mental health and what I learn from it. It may seem as if I love to sulk about the same things, but you won’t understand the importance of reiterating the point until it hits home. It’s important, to me and if it’s not to you, I hope that with time, it will be.
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